Just like it’s the little things that you practice on the daily that can transform your life, the SAME applies to marriage. Take the time to practice the little things in your relationship and watch it blossom right before your eyes because in my experience…the little things are really THE BIG THINGS!
Below I am going to share a few of the things that my husband and I do every day that keep us connected and let me know -especially on the hard days, that my husband loves and cares for me. Just remember, it takes TWO to tango, and you can’t expect your marriage to strengthen without doing your part in what I like to call the “little things“.
When my husband and I were engaged (we didn’t live together before marriage), I remember day dreaming about every day life with my new hubby. I knew it would take time to establish our routines together and while I would be lying if I said everything I dreamt of came true, one thing my husband did from day one that has meant the WORLD to me, was kiss me every morning and tell me that he loves me before he left for work. And that is one thing that I am so happy to say he has never stopped doing.
Start the day and end the day with one another
It doesn’t matter if I am still sleeping, my husband will come into our bedroom, caress my sleepy (sometimes drooly, lol) face, kiss me and tell me to have an amazing day -and it truly makes my heart sing!!! I can count on one hand the times he has forgotten -or we had a little tiff and he wasn’t quite feeling it, lol, and let me tell you, those are the days I have a dark cloud hanging over me and I truly felt like something was missing. It just goes to show that this small practice that my husband implemented into our marriage affirms in my heart every. single. day that he is ALL IN and to this day I don’t think he even realizes the impact. So, when I say to start your day and end your day with one another, don’t walk out the door without a hug/kiss/goodbye for your spouse and make sure you end the day the same.
Stay in touch throughout the day
Like every hard working family, our days are often spent apart. I can’t complain because we are both home most evenings but even still, we try to touch base throughout the day in some form -texting, call, etc. Some days are crazy and we can’t always fit in a quick message but when we can, we do. I always prioritize texting my husband before anyone else but, just like we prioritize communication with one another, we also do our best to respect one another’s schedules and understand that the other may have a lot on his/her plate (and not to take it personally if we don’t hear back). The thing that matters the most, is taking the moments when we can to reach out because that truly is what keeps a relationship healthy.
Think of one another and choose a special action
One of the best things you can do is to think of one another throughout the day and choose something thoughtful to do for the one you love. When my husband works from home in the winter and I am at the salon, if I pop back home for a quick lunch I always bring him his favorite smoothie so he doesn’t have to worry about making himself something to eat. We both don’t like to spend time cooking or preparing food so a little thing like that can mean a lot! These things will look different for every couple but I know you can find the little thing that will mean so much to your spouse. You don’t have to go big here guys, pop the coffee maker on so it’s ready for your spouse in the morning if you know they love their java, put away the dishes in the dishwasher, take the garbage out, bring them home a treat, just “think” about something they would appreciate, do it and I promise, it will go a long way!
We all gotta eat, so why not make the most of it and use this time to connect! Try having supper cell-phone free, ask each other how his/her day was, listen intently. I love hearing my husband’s work stories or what he was thinking about that day. He is big into personal development so he will often share something he was listening to on the road that struck him or something silly that happened with a co-worker at work. He loves people and he lights up sharing the experiences he had with them. These are the times I get glimpses into his day and I am so honored that he shares it with me. We also love to have tea together right before bed, it’s one last thing we can do before closing our day. I said it already and I will say it again, life is so busy, but you can make little slots of time specifically for each other.
Flirt in passing
This one is so fun! Just because you are both at home doesn’t mean you are always together, so when you pass each other e.g. doing house hold chores, etc, flirt in passing and create special little moments. I’ll admit I am not the best flirt but my husband loves it when I try as bad as it may be, haha. If you aren’t in the mood for flirting, that’s okay, instead try to stop for a long hug -I mean really hug him! Hugs are scientifically proven to make us healthier, happier and reduce stress, especially in women.
Last but not least, SPEAK your affection
I know I already touched upon telling one another that you love them but there is so much more positivity that you can spread with your words. As a spouse we can choose to use our words for the best or the worst. We all know the effect words can have on us, just remember what your mother always said, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all. As wives, lets stop nagging, and instead make our hubbies feel like SUPER men. Thank them for all that they do around the house, no, they don’t necessarily need it but why can’t we just AFFIRM one another! It makes for such a happier marriage. Tell your husband how handsome he is, tell him how much you appreciate how hard he works to provide, SPEAK THE POSITIVE. We can only control ourselves so I choose every day to adore my husband and in my mind he has no flaws. I wouldn’t want him pointing out my flaws that are a mile long so, why in the world would I focus on his. But, seriously, take up this mindset and watch your spouse truly transform into the best version of themselves ♥
The end goal is this guys, every day is an opportunity to connect with your spouse. And what works for us, might not work for you but I know you can find what does. And if you choose to put forth this effort & connect on a regular basis, you WILL begin to see the seeds you are planting on the daily GROW into a strong, healthy and fulfilled relationship! And I will tell you one thing, if you do the “little things”, even on the hard days, it will ENRICH the good days together that much MORE, xoxo