I am going to tell you my secret…
I struggle with insecurity! And for most of my life, that is what defined me.
I am not sure if it was a specific day that I woke up and desperately wanted change or if it was a revelation over time that began to unfold in my life? But as I have aged, every single day, life has begun to look a lot clearer.
I realize that in my story, I chose to be insecure. Before you are quick to react, or quick to defend (if you too, struggle with low self esteem) let me explain. My insecurity easily rooted in my life; the source, I will never quite know where from. But looking back, I “did” choose it. I chose to beat myself up every day and to constantly worry about what others thought. I chose to hold myself back…to dream but never DO! I chose to let my insecurity stop me from “trying” immediately succumbing to failure. Insecurity affected my every day and I can’t believe I allowed the cruelty of it in my life for so long. Waking up in the morning, hating yourself is not the right way to live but it ran so deep, that I even allowed it to affect my performance in my work place. I was terrified to even be at work, let alone perform a service.
Insecurity was my crutch and my safe zone of misery. But believe it or not, it was easiest, so I chose to live there. I have realized I can live my life on the sidelines, scared to participate in each day God has given me, or I can challenge, stretch, and grow myself. Every day, I will battle self doubt, but it’s a battle I now decide to WIN!
If you are reading my story, you are on my blog. Look around. This is only the beginning but this is my dream! Insecurity has held me back for far too long from it, but absolutely NO more.
Quoting Dale Partridge.
“Chasing your dream isn’t just an option, it’s really your responsibility. You can give up on it, or be a good steward of your life and get after it.”
If any of you can relate to this, send me a message, I would love to hear your story. I strongly encourage you to not let your “crutch” hold you back from the life you were meant to live!